Poised

My mind reels
open to the thought of possibilty
careening forward
down slippery slopes
across deep ravines
around complex bends
before applying the brakes
causing head-on-collision
Crash! Bam!
Settling with dust on solid ground
I have stopped.
Mind and body not in sync..
My body
remains poised
gracefully
one foot extended
pointed
lingering at precipice
questioning, faltering, unsure
whether
to l e a p , free falling
or retreat staggering
overwhelmed by vertigo
back to solitude & safety.
Back into myself.

Loopy on Nyquil~this is what happens when on meds

Cry like you mean it
Silent tears
Just don't cut it
Tear away from
Solitude
Blood roses
Sent too late
Sobbing wreck
She's no quitter
Graves for sinners
Even angels shed their wings
Back on the street
All the faces gray
Kaliedescope dreams
Swirl like cotton candy
Sugar dissolves in mouth
Suck it deep within
Scent your taste
With rose petaled skin
Fires burn
And ashes fall
Blistering pavement
Beneath her feet
Run faster
Faster
Faster
Still
Mind over matter
Shake it up in side your head
Shake it off
just..
Let go
Titantic water envelops soul
Drowning in pool of madness
Despair sets in
Past the point of dis-repair
Last breath gasped
as
Tears
drown

Rocket Gods

I try to make my mouth
form the words you need
but I'm frozen
what is left to say?
Cannot say 'I love you'
that requires active voice
we've been passive for so long now
crows have circled, fed, moved across the pond

Cannot say 'I'm sorry'
not to you at least,
only have my Self to apologize to
for believing fables spun
around, over my head,
planted seeds
deep inside my heart
germinated on windowsill
bathed in sunlight
then dumped out into new soil

Cannot say 'I forgive you'
for being so clever
using innocence
anointing your head
kneeling at your altar
self-made God~
Rockets flew past our window
charred earth left
where we lay clinging
to promises spoken
ambiguous as your Love

You,who knew this love
would keep me up at night
searching the horizon for a
glimpse of your shadow

You, who knew my belly would swell
anticipating your faithful promise
of return, reunion,lifetimes

You, who knew I would bleed
when you terminated this life
we shared
sloughing off dead cells
un-needed,unwanted baby
of Self
inner child aborted
left me with frozen embryos

sobbing on floor
curled back into fetus
finally the words form..
'I forgive..
You, Me, Us'
Through salty tears
oceans of regret wash away
I emerge head first
feet planted firmly
on new ground
a lusty cry swells from deep within
primal scream echoes off walls
claiming my birthright~
I choose Life.